i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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