'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
