yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
