I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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