I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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