Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
