remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
