My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
