I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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