Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
