I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
