I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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