No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
