fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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