And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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