Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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