just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bring me that man meat
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
