Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
