your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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