Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
