The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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