I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I would ride that face into the sunset
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
