Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
