he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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