Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
