i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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