i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
