It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
ttyl tear gas
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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