Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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