I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
