It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
