We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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