i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
