she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
