I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
