booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
