your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
