Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
