So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she looked like the before picture.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
