my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
