he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
