butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
