I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
