the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
