Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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