The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
