at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
