Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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