Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
