thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Screwed.edu
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
